


Hero

by emilyevanston



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/M, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 19:14:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11214498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/emilyevanston
Summary: Bucky has trouble settling into life with the Avengers.  After waking from night terrors he takes a walk with his service dog and meets you as you hide from your ex.





	Hero

Bucky wakes with a start.  His heart is pounding and sweat beads on his brow.  He’s confused for a moment.  Sure he is still in Hydra.  Sure that he is once again strapped to that machine and they are going to strip him of everything he is.

It’s Minuet, his golden retriever that brings him back to the present.  She squirms her way up the bed and licks Bucky’s face.  He releases a long slow breath and blinks down at the dog.

“Thanks, Minnie.”  He sighs, ruffling her fur.  “That was a bad one, but at least I didn’t go Winter Soldier, huh?”

She licks him again and pushes her face into his hand.  He pats her and rolls out of bed, heading to the bathroom.  Minuet follows, sitting patiently watching him pee.  He turns to look at her and shakes his head before turning the shower on.  He pulls off his shirt awkwardly. Still not completely used to his missing arm.  He’d opted not to have the metal one replaced.  At least not yet.  One day he would.  For now though, he just sees the old arm as a weapon and everything is so black and white to him at the moment.   You were either a good guy and you got to live or you were a bad guy and you should die.  Bucky had decided until some gray returned to the world that he maybe shouldn’t be given a weapon.

He catches a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror.  It’s the only mirror in his quarters.  Sometimes he considers taking it out.  He hates seeing himself like this.

He looks though.  Running his hand over the jagged, red scar that still hurt so badly when it was going to rain.  You’d think 60 years later it wouldn’t look so raw.  It wouldn’t ache so much.  It’s just a perpetual reminder to him of how he was an unlovable monster.  He can’t even pretend to be the handsome, charming man he used to be.  No one was ever going to buy it with this.  There was still metal fused to his body.  They’d decided that the stump of the former arm was better left in place than removed completely.  He often wondered how he could feel the pain of it being blasted off to this day if it wasn’t even real.

Minuet licks his hand and closes her mouth around it, pulling him away from the mirror.  “Thanks, Minnie.”  Bucky says.  He takes his hand from her mouth and gives her a pat before pushing his pajama pants down and stepping out of them.  Minuet picks up his dirty clothes and carries them to the hamper as Bucky steps under the water.

He lets the warm water rinse his body clean of the cold sweat that’s clinging to him and relax the muscles he’d been clenching.  He stands under the spray for quite a while.  Not washing himself.  Just staring blankly before turning off the water and stepping out.  He towels himself off.  A task made much slower from the lack of a limb.  He pads back into his bedroom naked and starts getting dressed.  Boxers go on no problem.  Socks he finds slightly more difficult.   Jeans are easy to a point, but getting the button on his fly done up feels like an impossibility.  Even with that trick the physio had taught him.  He finally gets it closed and attempts to pull on his t-shirt.  He gets stuck, unable to pull it down properly.

“Fuck!”  He curses loudly and smashes his shoulder into the wall in frustration.  Minuet barks and runs over, jumping up on him.

Steve appears a moment later looking bleary and confused.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  Go back to bed.”  Bucky snaps.

Steve walks over to Bucky slowly.  “Here, I’ll help you.”  He said softly.

“I don’t need your help!”  Bucky yells, shoving Steve.

“Buck…”  Steve said, sounding equal parts hurt and pitying.  “It’s okay to need help.”

“Oh yeah?”  Bucky snarls.  “Like how you always came to me when you needed it?”

“So you’re going to be proud like I was?”  Steve soothes, he walks over and helps pull Bucky’s shirt into place.  “It’s 3am.  Where are you going?”

“For a walk.  Is that okay with you?”  Bucky snaps.

Steve sighs.  “Bucky.  Please.  Whatever’s happened, it’s me you’re talking to.”

Bucky sighs and drops his eyes.  “Sorry.  Sorry, Steve.  I had a nightmare.  I just want to walk and clear my head, and I can’t even get my own clothes on.”

Steve considers bringing up the prosthesis issue, but decides against it.  “It takes time.  You’re doing fine.”

“Can you help me with my jacket?”  Bucky asks.

Steve grabs Bucky’s hoodie from the wardrobe and helps him slip his arm into it before zipping it up.  Bucky pulls the hood up and picks up Minuet’s service dog coat. She comes over and stands as he puts it in place.  He steps into his shoes and heads to the door.

“Do you want some company?”  Steve offers.

Bucky shakes his head.  “Thanks, pal.  I think I just need to be alone.”

Bucky heads out, Minuet on his heels.  He has no destination in mind.  He just walks.  Part of him hopes someone might try something. That he can get his hands dirty.  But the fact that is a thought going through his mind makes him look less like prey and more like a predator.

There’s a diner open and he decides to go in.  Maybe caffeine and sugar will help.  The door has a bell over it that rings as it opens and then as it closes again.  He blinks in the well let room as his eyes adjust to the light, and the way it shines off every brightly coloured artificial surface in the joint.

The first thing he notices, isn’t the smell of bacon cooking or the sound of the grill.  It’s not the red vinyl chairs of the booths.  It’s not the waitress pouring coffee for a guy who looks like he’s just come off a shift at the hospital.  It’s the sound of your crying, and the scent of the blood that runs from your nose.

He approaches you slowly.  “Excuse me, miss?  Are you okay?”

You flinch at him, scooting back into the booth.  There’s a bloody napkin you’re holding to your face to catch the blood. You had left your apartment in such a hurry you were still in your pajamas and had no shoes on.

“It’s okay.”  He says softly.  “I’m a super.  You know… like one of the Avengers?”

You look up at him.  “Really?  Which one?”  You ask cautiously.

“Uhh… you probably haven’t heard of me.  I’m kinda new to it. But my name is James Barnes.  If you want you can look on your phone.  I work with Captain America.  There’s pictures.”  He says.

You pull out your phone.  The battery is almost dead, and there is a large crack down the screen.  You search Captain America and James Barnes.  His picture comes up with the hero you do know.  And some news article about their names being cleared.

“You can really help me?”  You ask, looking up at you hopefully.

“Only if you tell me what happened.”  He says, sliding into the booth opposite you.

You sigh and feel the cold wet nose of Minuet press on your hand.  You go to pet her and then see the service dog jacket.  “Is it okay to pet her?”  You ask.

Bucky nods.  “Yeah, no problem.  She’s more of a therapy dog than a service dog.  Most of her service stuff happens while I’m sleeping.  Oh and she picks shit up for me off the ground.  Thanks for askin’ though.”

You pat the golden retriever and she rests her head in your lap.

“She likes you.”  Bucky says.

“What do you mean the service stuff happens when you’re asleep?”  You ask.

The waitress interrupts you.  Bucky orders a slice of apple pie and two coffees.  He then apologizes and asks if you want coffee.  You tell him coffee is fine and the waitress leaves with your order.  Bucky shakes his head.  “If I tell you I’m worried you might not see me as a hero.  Just some wannabe loser.”

“I currently don’t see you as anything.  If you help me, I could care less about how big of a wannabe loser you are.  You’ll still be my hero.”  You say.

Bucky groans and runs his hand through his hair.  “Who am I kiddin’ anyway.  This…”  He gestures to his missing arm.  “Is probably a bigger indicator that I’m not the most super, super of all.  I have night terrors.  She wakes me up.  Sometimes I wake up… not myself and she brings me out of that too.”

“I wouldn’t think that makes you not a hero.”  You say.  “I think the heroic stuff is the definition, isn’t it?”

Bucky looks up at you and smiles a little.  “Will you tell me what happened?”

They waitress brings you the pie and two cups.  She fills the cups with coffee from the pot she’s holding and then leaves you both alone.  Bucky starts to drink he coffee black, but you add both sugar and creamer to your drink.

“It’s my ex.  He - he came to my pace.  Hit me.  Told me I belonged to him.  He was going to ‘show me my place’.  I managed to get away. I tore out some of my hair.  I don’t know what to do.  He works for the mayor and last time I went to the cops they all just patted him on the back and told him not to worry about it.  I have nowhere to go.”

Bucky’s fingers tightened around his cup.  He feels the porcelain start to crack and he consciously relaxed his fingers.  “I can help.”  The words came out as a low growl and he noticed you flinch a little.  “Oh shit.  Sorry, doll.  I scare myself sometimes.”

You relax again and take a bite of pie.  “What will you do?”

He shrugs.  “I guess he might need someone his own size to pick on.”

“You think that will work?”  You ask.

Bucky reaches over the table and give your hand a squeeze.  “I’m known for being very persuasive.”

You take a drink of your coffee and look up into his eyes.  They are a gray/blue and look so sad.  His hand is still on yours and you stroke your thumb over the back of his fingers.  He flinches to begin with.  Just a little.  You notice the shiver that runs down his arm.  “What’s the… how are you…”  You groan.  “What’s your superpower?”

Bucky smiles as you.  “Super strength.  Same as Cap.  I used to have a robotic arm too.”

“I thought you were a new superhero?”  You ask.

Bucky makes a sound that is like a laugh but it’s empty of any joy or humor.  “I was on the other side.”  He shakes his head and pulls his hand away from you, running it through his long hair.  “Not by choice.  They - uhh… did things to me.  Doesn’t matter.  I’m gonna make it right.”

You reach out to him this time.  The hurt is evident in him and you run your hand down his forearm.  He once again flinches, and a shudder runs through him.  “How did you find Captain America then?  Were you like a spy?”

Bucky picks up his coffee and drinks the last of it in two large gulps.  “He found me.  We grew up together.  It’s kinda a long story and… I have trouble talking about it.”

Minuet lifts her head from your lap and moves to Bucky.  She licks his face and pushes her head under his arm.  “Hey girl.  It’s okay.  I’m okay.”  He says, laughing for the first time since you met.  You can see exactly why he has her in that moment.  She keeps him present.

“Sorry.  I didn’t mean to upset you.”  You say.  That instant, automatic need to placate kicking in.

“Don’t be.  You didn’t know.  Why would you?”  Bucky says.  “Besides… I’m supposed to talk about it. It’s just hard.  Do you get that too?  Just… you know saying the things and getting them out helps after but while it’s happening it’s like you’re actually bleeding?”

You nod and drop your eye contact.  “Yeah, I know exactly what your mean.  It sucks you know?  I was different before him.  Now I don’t trust anything I do.  Any other people.”

Bucky scowls at the thought of some guy hurting you like he’s been hurt.  “You wanna show me where you live?”  Bucky says getting up suddenly.

You and Minuet jump to your feet and follow after him.  When you get out he lets you lead the way.  He notices how nervous you start getting as you get closer to your apartment.  “It’s okay.”  He says, putting his hand on your forearm.  “He won’t hurt you again.”

You look at him.  “Don’t kill him.”  You say.

Bucky stops and looks at you.  “But … what he’s done to you?”

“You’re a hero.  Heroes are supposed to be better.  Just… make him stop.  Make it so women are safe from him.”  You plead.

Bucky looks at you frowning.  The only way he can make sure that will happen is to kill him.  He nods but doesn’t say anything and you lead him to your apartment door.  You open it and step in.

Your ex, Michael has fallen asleep on the couch.  Bucky stalks over to him.  Before he even wakes Bucky has him on his feet holding him by the throat.  “You like beating up women, huh pal?”  Bucky seethes shoving him to the wall.

Michael throws a punch, connecting with Bucky’s jaw.  Bucky barely flinches.  “Who the fuck are you?”  Michael gasps.

Bucky’s fingers tighten around his throat.  Your words; ‘Don’t kill him’ echo through his head.  He’s a bad guy, he deserves to die.  Michael starts gasping and his fingers start scrambling at Bucky’s hand to get it off.  “I’m the last thing you’re gonna see.”  Bucky whispers.

“I’ll leave her alone.”  Michael gasps.  “She won’t see me again.”

Black and white.  Good people live.  Bad people die.  “There are other women.  What about them?”  Bucky seethes.  He can see the life starting to leave the guys eyes.

“I … I’ll turn myself in…”  Michael says, barely a whisper.

Bucky feels a hand on his shoulder and the press of Minuet against his leg. “Don’t kill him.”  You whisper.

Bucky’s hand relaxes.  Shades of gray.  Here the gray isn’t that the guy isn’t scum.  It’s that if Bucky kills him, he’ll be the one punished.  “Call the cops.  Your ex is gonna turn himself in.  Aren’t ya, pal?  And you’re not going to let them go easy on you.  She’ll press chargers.  And you’re going to prison, right?  You’re gonna tell them everything.”

“Yes.  Yes.”  He pants.

Bucky lets Michael go and he falls to the floor panting.  “And you’re not going to weasel out.  Because even if you do turn me in… I’ll break out and come and finish what I started.  Do you doubt that I can do that?”

Michael shakes his head, rubbing his throat.

You call the cops and they show up.  You can see when they come for him that they want to just let him go again.  The presence of Bucky, who they check up on and find he’s a registered Avenger, paired with Michael’s open and clear confession means arresting him and pressing charges is the only thing they can do.

When your apartment is empty Bucky turns to you.  “Will you be okay?”

You nod.  “Thank you.”  You say, approaching him.

“I should go.”  He says.

You put your hand on his chest.  “Stay.”  You say, moving yourself closer to him.

He takes your wrist, not hard.  Just moving your hand away.  “You don’t have to repay me with sex.  I don’t need payment at all.”

You reach up and touch his face getting him to look you in the eye.  “What about if it’s because we could both use that kind of touch?  Something that isn’t painful and humiliating?  That doesn’t destroy us from the inside?  What about if it’s just that I see you, James?  That I like you?”

“Why would you want to?  I’m a fuckin’ monster.”

“You’re not a monster.”  You whisper.  “You’re a hero.”

Bucky lets out a slow shuddering breath.  He licks his lips and sucks on the lower one.  A moment passes as he weighs up the offer.  How he is sure you have to be doing this out of pity.  That maybe he should wait to get to know whoever he sleeps with first now he’s mostly Bucky again.  How he really wants this.  He wants to feel wanted.  Not just the way Steve makes him feel as a friend.  But as a lover.  As someone attractive and desirable.

He brings his lips to yours.  You kiss softly at first.  Neither one wanting to take the lead.  You part your lips and your tongue moves forward. It’s met by his.  You unzip his hoodie as you kiss, and push it to the ground.  Minuet comes and picks it up.  When she doesn’t know where to take it she just takes it to the corner of the room and sits on it.

Bucky breaks the kiss and looks at her.  “Good girl, Minnie.  You stay there, girl.”

Minuet looks up and wags her tail and Bucky looks back at you.  “Bedroom?”

You lead him into your room.   He pulls your shirt off over your head exposing your breasts to him.  He runs his hand over one, his thumb stroking over your nipple.  “You’re beautiful.”  He breathes, before kissing you again.  You scramble to get his shirt off.  Finally you pull it over his head and you gasp.

“What did they do to you?”  You ask, tracing your finger tips down the scarring on his shoulder.

He flinches.  His muscles twitching under your touch.  He seems to try and make himself smaller.  “I told you.  I’m a monster.”

You bring your lips to the scar.  You feel the shiver pass through him.  “You’re not a monster.  They are.”  You murmur against his skin.

“Please don’t…”  He whispers, his arm wrapping around you. His hand going to your hair.

You ghost your lips up the scar kissing it again.  “You aren’t.  James.  You aren’t.”  You whisper as you slowly kiss him.  “They are.  You’re a hero.  You protect people who are small and weak and who need you.”

Bucky goes from fear to lust so quickly.  By the time you lips have reached the top of his shoulder he needs you desperately.  He kisses you hard.  His tongue pushing into your mouth.  He guides you back to the bed and you sit on the edge.  You unfasten his jeans as Bucky steps from his shoes.  His cock springs up, a bead of precome already forming on the head.  You dart your tongue forward and lick it off and Bucky’s hips buck suddenly.

“Fuck, doll.”   He breathes.  “It’s been a long time.  Go easy.”

He watches you as you take his cock in your hand and pump him slowly.  Each touch you make seems heightened from what he expects.  He remembers having sex before he was taken, but not it feeling anywhere near this good.   He moans and when you wrap your lips around his shaft he curses loudly.

He bunches his hand in your hair, keeping his eyes locked with yours as you slowly work his cock.  A flush enters his skin.  His hips rock gently against your mouth.  Precome leaks over your tongue.

You watch as his abs tighten and he groans.  “Stop.  Please stop.”

You pull off and look up at him and he kisses you again.  You let him guide you backwards and help him pull your pajama pants down.  Scooting back, you spread your legs and reach for the bedside table to grab a condom.

As you fumble in the drawer his mouth touches on your pubic mound.  He slips his tongue between your folds and swipes up, flicking over your clit.  He hums as the acidic sweet taste of you fills his senses and laps wide to get more of it.  You arch up, and will your legs not to clamp around his head.

“Oh fuck.  James.”  You moan.

He looks up at you.  “Actually, I prefer Bucky.”  He says.

You blink at him startled.  “What?”

“My friends call me Bucky.”

“Sure, Bucky.”  You say shaking your head.

He returns to your pussy and sucks your clit into his mouth, pressing his teeth down on it and flicking his tongue back and forth.  “Jesus, fuck!”  You cry, bucking into him.

Bucky shifts.  He leans on his elbow between your legs.  He pushes two of his fingers inside of you and strokes them up, curling them so they press on your g-spot.  You start to lose the ability to control your own body.  You kick your legs and arch your back.  You writhe under him.

“Doll, I can’t actually hold you down and do this.  It’s one or the other.”  Bucky smirks.

You pant and look down at him.  “Sorry.  Sorry.  It’s intense.”

“Just relax.”  He says, dipping his head back down.  He keeps eye contact with you as he sucks at your clit.  Heat swirls inside you, pushing down on you. Bucky presses down on your g-spot and nips your clit at the same time and you come.  You cry out and you legs tremble.

Bucky sits up on his knees.  You sit up too, grabbing the condom you were reaching for before and tearing the packet open.  You roll it on his cock and push him down onto his back.  Slowly you start kissing up from his abs, swirling your tongue over his skin.

Bucky moans and his hand tightens on the sheet.  His muscles clench each new place you kiss.  When they relax again, it’s like it’s own kind of release.  By the time you’re straddling his hips, grinding your pussy against his cock, it’s throbbing and leaking into the condom.

You guide his cock into you and start to ride him.  You watch each other.  The lust in your eyes.  They way your bodies respond to touch.  How the muscles clench as you get closer and closer to climax.

You keep your hands on Bucky’s chest.  They way he feels under your palm, the heat and the strength is it’s own kind of stimulant.  Bucky’s hand runs over you trying to touch all of you.  He runs his thumb over you lip.  He strokes his fingers over your throat.  He rubs and pinches your breasts.  Finally his fingers settle on your clit, rubbing it in little random patterns.

Your orgasm breaks and you collapse down on top of him.  He holds you and kisses you as your pussy spasms around his cock, milking his own orgasm from him.  He comes in pulses, moaning against your neck.

You lie together like that for a while.  He slips from within you and you remove his condom and toss it in your waste basket.  “Thank you.”  Bucky whispers trailing his fingers through your hair.

You smile up at him from your spot in the crook of his arm.  “Thank you, Bucky.  I mean it.  For everything.  You have no idea in how many ways you saved me today.”  You stroke your fingers down his jawline.

The two of you doze until almost midday.  When you wake up you fuck.  This time frantically and with a roughness to it. He takes you from behind his arm wrapped around your chest.  Biting at your shoulder.  You still feel safe and appreciated though.  That this is him just trying something new because he trusts you a little more.

You take a shower before having lunch.  Afterwards he gets your number and heads home.  When he steps through the door, Steve jumps to his feet.  “Shit!  Buck.  I was starting to panic.  I thought you’d run again.”  He says, running to Bucky and throwing his arms around him.

Bucky hugged back, patting Steve on the back.  “Sorry, Stevie.  I just - I met a girl.  She needed help.  This guy had been hitting her.  He’s been arrested.”

Steve stepped back and looked at him.  “Buck.  You see.  You are a hero.  Just gotta ease into it again.”

Bucky smiled, he reached down and stroked his hand through Minuet’s fur.  “I was thinking… I’d like to go speak to King T’Challa.  See if that offer to make me a new arm is open.”


End file.
